4.19.2011

Reading: Beauty Inside vs. Outside

I was reading this interesting, if short, article on Psychology Today's website about the advantage of good looks (The Advantages of Good Looks: Long-Term Love Is Not One of Them).

The author postulated that through studies and personal experience, humans realize that good looks are good for mating purposes but not for long-term caring relationship and life-giving love.

I was totally into this article, even though it's rather superficial (pardon the pun), until I got to this part: "There are thousands of women out there, none of whom may turn your crank every time you look at her, but all of whom would be loving, caring, and energetic wives and mothers." That's when my suspense of disbelief shattered.

I have never associated life-long companionship, partnership, or marriage to an obligatory care-giver nor child-bearer role. I usually see that as a traditionalist approach to lifestyle which does not tend to draw my attention.

It's likely that I have my wires crossed, as 99.9% of people typically look for these qualities and outcomes from their long-term relationships. Alas, that just doesn't jive for me. I think there are far more dimensions to people's compatibility than just having a life-long care-giver and child-bearer -- it's too Freudian in a sense...just another version of our mother but in a mate.

I typically identify the role of partner as a care-giver in situations where the other partner is unable to care for him or her self later in life or in case of a major medical life event.

I guess I still have a long road of personal introspection in regards to how I identify with or against specific traditional societal roles...then again, maybe I'm just wired differently and have a perfectly valid perspective on the lifestyle choice I've made for myself: married with no children and strongly reinforcing of my husband's self-efficiency in menial and not-so menial daily tasks.

Different strokes for different folks. I always respect others' choices and hope they can respect mine. That's what I call beauty inside and outside.