8.15.2011

True Blood Rant

I can't stand this season of True Blood. It's pointless. The only highlights thus far are Pam's expletives and melting face, Lafayette's spiritual medium gig, and witches worst nightmare Marnie-Antonia.

We all know Sookie and Eric are doomed, as soon as someone kills/exorcises Antonia. So what's the point of all the blonde pr0n? Seriously? I was over it before it began.

I can't stand Marnie. I agree with Pagans/Wiccans that it's just another stereotypical exploitation gig against them. Marnie is a lame character unless she finally does something interesting. Necromancing vampires is hardly all that earth-shaking. It would be satisfying to get that character her upcommance and leave everyone be already.

And what the hell-o is wrong with Vampire Bill? He's so NOT the role model/King of Louisiana type. Seriously. He keeps apologizing and making...well, sense. Kind of like the old days, but it's weirder now that he's king. What's his real agenda for being in cohoots with Nan and the American Vampire League? When do we finally get a peek at the AVL's inner workings? When do those folks get in trouble? That's what entertainment is about.

I know, I know. I could be reading the books instead. But I'm 99% certain that reading the books would completely take away the little piece of Americana charm that the TV show holds for me. That and the opportunity to see how many shrunken hoodies and jean cut-offs they can fit on Sookie in a season--I am SO flashing back to my Barbie days, I hardly think of Sookie as a human woman anymore. She's more like a little fluffy kitten or puppy. She invariably bites off more than she can chew, while acting completely blonde and brain-less.

Pam is my type of character. Hard on the outside and soft in the inside. Eric used to be interesting. Now he's just a gleeful, bloodied-face Ken doll.

And although I love Lafayette, I can't stand his boy-toy Jesus, nor his easily-angered cousin Tara. Tara seriously went through a ton of heavy duty stuff, but she's really always stuck playing the same pouty-faced "I will be avenged" face and I'm kinda getting sick of her. She was much more interesting at the beginning of the season than she is now. It's unfortunate they left her character hanging as a supporting role.

The only redeeming quality of last Sunday's episode is the slight unraveling of the baby nanny ghost's story. It looks like the Bellefleur family has a far darker secret than that just Vampire Bill sleeping with great-great-great-great-great granddaugther Portia. *yawn*

Speaking of the Bellefleurs, thank God for Terry and Arlene -- they're the only reliable characters: they're always the same, and provide a little well-earned humor in an otherwise glum season. Let's see what happens with the doll. I'm sure they'll wake up to it needing to be gone one way or other, sooner or later.

Don't even get me started on Tommy. That storyline is heading to unpleasantville, and fast.

Good luck to Hoyt getting over his glamoring. Jessica really did a number on him. I wonder if there's any such thing as a de-glamoring? She sure got kicked out of every possible place she could stay. She better return to Vampire Bill's, or maybe get a job so she can stand on her own two damn feet for once? That's an idea.

I'm hoping this season heads somewhere fast, cause I'm sick of Sookie and Eric, and Marnie-Antonia is getting old fast without any new insight into her master plan or a way to get rid of her. The vampire versus witches standoff in the cemetery was promising. We'll see what happens to Alcide for interfering. Doggone (pun intended) Debbie, she's only good for finding trouble and complicating everything.

This show better get somewhere this season, this is the dullest season since Maryann's Dyonisian orgies.