Answering the Proust Questionnaire

Here is Proust’s Questionnaire:
What is your idea of perfect happiness? a: complete relaxation and a lack of formed thought
What is your greatest fear? a: making a big mistake and ending up with nothing
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? a: lack of neuroplasticity
What is the trait you most deplore in others? a: arrogance
Which living person do you most admire? a: anyone who overcomes major challenges and can still smile
What is your greatest extravagance? a: taking risks and not having to worry about the consequences
What is your current state of mind? a: mediocre, for the seasons are changing
What do you consider the most overrated virtue? a: syle
On what occasion do you lie? a: to calm the waters
What do you most dislike about your appearance? a: weight and hair texture
Which living person do you most despise? a: abusers with an unhealthy need for control of others
What is the quality you most like in a man? a: intelligence
What is the quality you most like in a woman? a: generosity
Which words or phrases do you most overuse? a: a cross between
What or who is the greatest love of your life? a: those who shared their unconditional love with me
When and where were you happiest? a: Florida, Maui, Liguria
Which talent would you most like to have? a: negotiation
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? a: analyze logically better
What do you consider your greatest achievement? a: ability to surf change and see what's up on the other side
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? a: pass
Where would you most like to live? a: near the sea in a temperate climate
What is your most treasured possession? a: my self-control
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? a: dispair and tragedy when there is always an option to move forward, one way or another
What is your favorite occupation? a: anything related with tourism and travel
What is your most marked characteristic? a: telling it like it is
What do you most value in your friends? a: life experience
Who are your favorite writers? a: Sylvia Plath, Stephen King, The Gardener's Cottage blog writer Janet
Who is your hero of fiction? a: Lara Croft
Which historical figure do you most identify with? a: pass
Who are your heroes in real life? a: survivors
What are your favorite names? a: Olivia, Andrew, Luna
What is it that you most dislike? a: being in a rut
What is your greatest regret? a: accepting other's need for control
How would you like to die? a: quickly
What is your motto? a: sunshine inside and out

Dreaming of a Better Past

So Saturday night into Sunday morning I had a dream that I was in my old rental house from my teens, in Downers Grove, and it was completely revamped, updated and extremely comfortable.

We were all very happy and couldn't get over the surprise. It was an odd, creepy dream.

I've sometimes dreamt about being in that home before, but never when it was renovated to today's standards. Being happy in that home seems like an oxymoron, it was a difficult time in my life.

my old Downers Grove rental home

I've been noticing a trend in myself that I sometimes try to "turn back time" (to quote Cher, ha!) both in dreams and in real life. Going back and making things better for my younger self.

The odd thing is, that old self of mine doesn't exist anymore, and why would I want to change her anyway, if my past is the foundation on which I build my today and my tomorrow.

Oddly enough, as I am still a little troubled by this new discovery, I started thinking about a scene in Star Trek: The Final Frontier, where McCoy, Spock and Kirk face the truth that letting the past be is the best choice.

Yes, I need my old pain to make me appreciate the joyful times today and tomorrow. But I'm not going to dwell on it. I'm ok with moving forward.

Clearwater Heaven

One of my all-time favorite things to do in the Tampa area (since 1999!) has been drive into Clearwater Beach near sunset.

I immensely enjoy the sun's rays reaching out playfully to almost blind me,  as I squint at it through sunglasses and straight palms.

The fluffy clouds are relaxed sentinels, quietly escorting us as we make our way through the Courtney Campbell Causeway (60).

I inhale the salt air and each and every muscle in my body feels like it's exhaling is tension away.

Heaven.

The promise of delectable seaside specialties, like broiled or grilled grouper,  are just around the next bend.

We continue cruising through Clearwater Beach and Sand Key with dinner cruises sailing under the Gulf Boulevard bridge.

The sea breeze welcoming,  the warm sunset hues caressing open windows in our vehicle. As we leisurely float on through the various barrier islands.

Heaven.

Thank you.

A Rant on The World Cup

I'm a notch angry with Brasil with how they're treating their favela (and this) citizens in comparison of all the money being thrown at the World Cup.

They throw money at tourists, yet there are not enough hotel rooms (see this, and also, this), and ditch their social responsibility to their own local economy and citizens.

It reminds me of how the Chicago Public Housing Authority forcefully vacated and later demolished several dangerous public housing units, displacing the criminals and lawful citizens who had called those home for several generations.

I hate when politicians make a show to the world with a false facade, and try to hide their "dirty laundry" under the carpet. It irks me like few things do.

Be upright, be good to your people, expect the best and plan for the best. Don't ditch your responsibilities and leave things for "show" purposes. Get real politicians! GRRR.

Meanwhile, I'll not be watching any World Cup matches. My own type of boycott or silent protest. I'll just catch up using Twitter.

Mal/Benditos Recuerdos

Anoche, tuve la oportunidad the encontrar mi antigua casa de Veracruz, Mexico usando Google Maps, Street View.  Se la ensene tambien a mi mama, quien estaba junto a mi en el sofa.

No lo negare, me trajo algo de tristeza ver nuestro viejo hogar, pues tengo recuerdos de una vida completamente diferente en ella.

Pero el origen de esta tristeza tambien se compone por los cambios externos arquitecturales que han occurido a esa misma casa. Al parecer, los varios duenos desde el 1990, cuando la vendimos, han cambiado el exterior/frente de la casa considerablemente desde el estilo de arquitectura colonial en negro, blanco, y copos rojizos a un estilo moderno con tubos de metal en vez de una clasica balustrada blanca y un color naranja del exterior, dramatico.

Favorite Personality Traits

I read somewhere that we typically are drawn to people who exhibit personality traits that we most admire in ourselves, or that we wish (subconsciously or consciously) to more strongly exhibit.

So I started wondering, what kind of traits do I admire in some of my favorite people in my life or in my world?

It's so easy to frown and wince when I encounter people who are insensitive culturally, racially, and personally, that it's almost hard to think about those characteristics that are positives, rather than negatives. It's a little sad... but here's a short list I came up with:

• curated honesty
• self awareness
• child-like curiosity
• playfulness
• dark sense of humor/sarcasm
• quick wit
• thoughtfulness
• attention to detail
• sassiness
• awe of nature
• enjoys games (table or computer)
• is a creative force rather than a destructive force
• seeks inspiration in small or large things/events
• is used to thinking outside the box
• feels a connection to art (in any of its many forms/reincarnations)

Weird Dream Update

Night before last I had a dream that I visited the nearby high school and the restroom was an absolute hideous horrific mess with every thing you can imagine strewn about and facilities flooded and full of refuse. Just horrific and really disgusting. In dreaming or coming out of the dream I realized this had to be a dream and not reality, because there is no way possible that this could ever happen in the nearby high school. Considering I've never been there, to begin with.

Last night I dreamt I was stuck in some sort of presidential library or some sort of special historical library type building and there was a group of people along with me. We were hiding from the night zombies that would be coming and attacking the building. I remember there being a dog or two, maybe. We were scavenging for things that we could reuse.

At least no more room dreams for now.

Still Hibernating

I'm still hibernating, though this past weekend I went out both days (whohoo!). I keep being incredibly sleepy and un-motivated. I never take naps unless it's serious, and on Saturday afternoon, the significant-other-unit, the dog, and I all fell asleep around 4:30 pm. I woke up briefly at 6 pm-ish to sleep-walk to the bed upstairs and didn't wake up until the next day.

I know, I know, I'm a barrel of fun. XD

At least Benny got his vet visit in, while an avalanche of snow came down all Saturday. He has all his vaccines updated for the coming year. Apparently, he lost a little weight, so I will supplement his two daily meals with some doggie biscuits. I need to start brushing his teeth several times a week, or he's going to get an infection, per the vet.

He seems to get really excited when he needs to go walk over the snow drifts, but otherwise he sleeps a lot like usual. I really miss my warmer weather walks. I think everyone I know has cabin fever.

Even though temperatures are below zero Fahrenheit today, the sun is out. Silver lining? Maybe.

Winter Sniffles

I finally fell victim to whatever influenza bug had been pestering my coworkers. I typically withstand until the very end, then catch it at the most inappropriate of times--like now, when I'm about to leave on vacation.

My poor throat is painfully sore, my lungs trying to cough up something horrible but failing, and a slight temperature is trying to insinuate itself out of the blue. The body aches are irritating, and I wish I could just go bury myself under the bed covers with Benny until spring time. I certainly miss the ability of sleeping straight through, from when I put my head on the pillow until the morning.

But reality requests my full attention, so I am present and accounted for notwithstanding a hoarse voice, painful throat, and inflamed bronchial...er...things.

To help alleviate some of my symptoms, I am drinking tons of lemon and honey decaf tea. The lemon and honey help disinfect and rehabilitate the immune system. I also made a soup earlier this week with tons of veggies and garlic. On another day this week I ate a lot of raw onion, which, regrettably, caused me some heartburn. Today, I treated myself to a big commuter cupful of lemon ginger tea with extra lemon and honey. If only this cup was infinite, with this lovely, soothing, and comforting tea.

I'm hoping that between the cough syrup, some antibiotics I found that expire in January, a few ibuprofen, and the hot teas I'll feel up to par with traveling. We'll see. :S

Death by Sequel

The Onion's Facebook page shared an article from a sister website, The A.V. Club, on the 15 Worst Films of 2013.

pic borrowed from The Onion's FB

I read along bemused and slightly nodding while I read down and slowly discovered that I didn't recognize more than half of the movie titles in this list. Until I reached number 1. That's when it really connected with me.

Movie makers have repeatedly chosen to recycle favorite themes, movies, cartoons, and series--all likely childhood joys for those of us who grew up in the 1980s--over creating brand new, fresh content in order to further their money-grabbing attempts at the box office.

The author of the A.V. Club article discusses how the Die Hard series of films--and Bruce Willis--have officially killed off the series' iconic superhero leading man, John McClane, by the time the last sequel (A Good Day to Die Hard) came out not too long ago:

"Twenty-five years after he first donned the badge and white tank top, Bruce Willis has finally done what countless terrorists with exaggerated accents could not: He’s killed John McClane. Not literally, of course, as that would require Hollywood to retire a character who still puts asses in seats...Gone is the cowboy charisma, taking with it any traces of fear and vulnerability; where Willis once made audiences feel every shard of glass he stepped on, his wisecracking lawman now shrugs off a vertical plummet through several skylights. He’s an impostor..."

Isn't this disillusion so incredibly depressing? There's quite a few of us out there who are a little jaded because we feel the same exact way as this author.

I've been experiencing a growing sequel and film reboot exhaustion over the past couple of years. Whenever there is a movie or television series that seems a little out of the normal I almost pounce on it, in hopes it can restore my faith in Hollywood...

As an example, why did studios find it necessary to reboot The Hulk (2003) after only five years (2008)? Or Spider-man (2002, 2004, and 2007) after only five years (2012)? Besides, didn't Toy Story 3 feel a little forced to you? I sure could have avoided that dramatic incinerator scene and the huge knot in my throat that it caused. And, as far as I can admit, there really only was ONE Matrix movie *covers ears and says lalalala*

Although movie makers are entranced with the opportunity to revisit those things we hold most precious in our hazy, rose-colored, aging memories, they forget that we get far more pleasure out of experiences than things. None of these sequels, revamps, reboots, or rehashes will ever match the pure exhilaration and pleasure that movie viewers get from the original viewing. Instead they chose to beat a dead horse with these reincarnations, which essentially convert our heroes and precious moments into objectified commodities that fatten the movie studio coffers.

I hope these movie studios reconsider the unintended side effect of leaving movie buffs and fans a little alienated from one of the very best sources of entertainment in our lives: movies. Especially during hard, economic times, when people are more likely to watch more closely how they spend on entertainment.

Let's hope they act sooner than later, or they may risk becoming like one of the over-cliched, necessary evil bad guys in the movies they keep pushing at us: obsolete.

Thinking About Spokespeople

I've been thinking a bit lately how organizational public relations, consumer expectations, and spin control are converging these days in the business world.

I see many CEOs getting in trouble for expressing their personal opinions whenever prompted--or egged on--by press people and causing all sorts of consumer boycotts and market-share loss.

Taking anyone's words out of context is one of today's media's favorite thing to do to stir up the pot. So that should be considered a constant factor in marketing anymore. But how come we are now aghast at CEOs as spokespeople? Or maybe it's just me.

I grew up studying a type of journalism that said "stick to the facts" and "cover all the bases/opinions" and "be thorough." I also grew up studying a type of public relations that said "script your message" and "train your spokesperson" and "delight your customer." So whenever I see a catastrophic quote out there being made into a mountain out of a mole hill, and coming from a CEO no less--spokesperson #1 for any organization--I kinda wonder what set of factors topped along the way to cause so much along the way to go so wrong.

Did the media instigate the CEO's quote? You can probably bet on it. But shouldn't have the CEO's staff have trained their CEO better, especially on how to react to a variety of possible situations? Of course. So why did the CEO still embarrass himself/herself and their organization? Why couldn't they go along with the brand image and stay on message?

The specific examples that I always think of whenever I think about these types of CEO fiascos, or blow ups, are the Chick-Fil-A CEO's anti-gay quote and the Barrilla CEO's anti-gay-commercials quote.

The thing that really stunned me about the Barilla CEO quote is that there are just as many wonderful gay Italians and single parents in Italy, that I can't imagine where the CEO came up with that "traditional" family thing. I guess these "diverse" or "unusual" folks and single-heads-of-household will have to resort to shopping for their pasta from one of the hundreds of pastifici (artisanal, fresh pasta) shops. Which is probably better for them and the local economy anyway.

Part of the problem is that these CEOs don't have a healthy understanding of what private and public boundaries are. They are perfectly entitled to have conservative--some may even say provincial--views in a progressively diversifying marketplace. But when they bring up these conflicting views and decimate the consumer's expectations, it just plainly spells trouble. It erodes their and their company's stake in the marketplace.

And to be honest, when it comes to "anti-gay" CEO statements, I think these CEOs could benefit from some personal supression themselves and shut their mouths. Nowadays, the unspoken mandate is to capture and retain fleeting consumer attention spans, not make enemies and lose millions just to be "right." Being able to  "far bella figura" or have a good image and match the consumer's expectations, is the goal of the game.

Have you noticed how, typically, those who are assigned "spin control" in these instances, are quick-to-market young professionals who have a knack for all the immediate marketing channels (like social media). They may be green, and not have a lot of business experience under their belts, but they can attack the problem with the tools at their disposal and help mitigate explosive situations in the market. Videos and social media messages are launched instantaneously to begin the PR cleanup after these catastrophic CEO spills.

What if these young professionals have the same views as their CEOs? It doesn't matter, because they have enough self control to instead fill a market need and say what the audience needs to hear. What they do or believe "off camera" is a whole 'nother thing. They understand that boundary.

I wish CEOs could have that kind of dynamicity and flexibility, and self control, rather than cornering themselves in these types of situations which erode trust and loyalty in the consumers' minds. Oh well.

Reading Update

I think I figured out what annoys me about Dan Brown books. They don't think much about the reader's previous reading habits or general knowledge. Every minute thing relating to science or religion is overly descriptive and semonized until the reader is blue in the face.

I almost started giving Brown the benefit of the doubt, since his protagonist is a university professor, and, as such, he may tend to sermonize and act superior to those (non-academics) around him.

Regrettably, the coup de grace plot twist in chapter 120 (or thereabouts) is hardly that big of a shocker. However, when the story goes back to tell you what the author didn't tell you while things were happening, really are a shocker...at how badly that's done. Again, my huge pet peeve when reading is that an author's main duty is to show the reader, not tell him/her.

Thankfully, I only have 2 hours left of listening to do for this audiobook. And *sigh and eyeroll* I'm sure Langdon ends up sleeping with the heroine in this book too in the very end.

TV Shows and Movies Online

Renting and buying TV shows and movies on Amazon, YouTube, Netflix, and other online services can get incredibly expensive if you have a voracious taste for entertainment. Add in a tight family budget and it's incredibly important to make the right decision for your usage.

First step is to analyze your usage, then check what services out there match your needs.

In my case, being an Amazon Prime member has several benefits, like free two day shipping. For another you get free access to a lot of instant video TV shows and movies. The only problem is that most of the "good stuff" you have to rent or buy access to.

I've gone on YouTube and rented movies like Pacific Rim ($3.99), Senna ($1.99--which is $3.99 on Amazon), and Larry Crowne ($3.99). Comparing the pricing for these one-offs has led me to rethink how I rent entertainment online.

I went on my Amazon Prime account last week and bought the first season of The Walking Dead non-HD (which is cheaper) on Amazon Instant Video for $10.49--that's six episodes. I wanted to see the next season, but felt Amazon was pricy, so I decided to sign up for Netflix. A friend had been watching The Walking Dead on there, and I thought it would be cheaper. It was! I paid $7.99 on November 11 and have now watched 21 episodes.

This type of pricing disparity is what makes me continuously re-evaluate my options and costs. There's no need to go along just because someone has a great marketing message but doesn't deliver on the promises. Or getting infatuated with one service provider even though others can be great resources for one-offs!

Reading Update

I curse the day I decided to follow someone's advice to pick up and read Stone's Fall. It's a shit book.

It could have been written so much better. Instead, it sermonizes on historical opinion at every turn to try to convince the reader about how things used to be prior to WWI and WWII. Not only that, but it's like two books in one. One is first person narrative, and the second is memoirs about the prequel of the narrative. Irritating.

Why not start with the death of the author of the memoir, and intersperse memory throughout from the reader's perspective? It would have been SO much better.

The only rule in writing is that the writer should show the reader, not tell. If you keep telling, rather than showing, the reader gets bored, feels excluded (or worse talked down to) and feels like the writer's tone is condescending.

So I am giving up on Stone's Fall audiobook on Audible for the foreseeable future. I have about 10 hours of listening pleasure left. Ha!

I went from the frying pan into the fire, however, as I picked up Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol on the rebound from Stone's Fall.

Another sermonizing type of book which is making me think of Dan Brown much like many think of M. Knight Shyamalan: repetitive and formulaic. I haven't yet decided who I  think is more naive, Dan or his womanizing, Catholic, leading  man Robert Langdon.

We'll see how this book progresses. Right now I'm two hours in, and I'm not even feeling lukewarm towards it.

Necessary Tools

I'm all about necessary career and work tools this week.

I signed up for a new online professional certificate program as I finish the third class (out of three) for another professional certificate.

I bought myself a collection of pens (Uni Ball Jetstream in black, colored ink, and red) and a new keyboard (Logitech K360, which is wireless and spill-proof, natch). These are the main tools that I depend on and use constantly in my work as a project coordinator and editor.

I would go so far as to say these tools are intimately connected to what I do. I'm not going to the extreme of saying that they're the oxygen that stokes the fire of my work. Nor will I use the old cliche that they're my bread and butter--though I could see them that way.

I am, however, going to say that I now understand why teachers go out of their way and spend a ton of money on classroom supplies every year, out of their limited salary, whenever they don't get the required tools to teach.

Turn that Frown Upside Down

Sometimes, a day sours and goes bad, like milk or chinese takeout neglected in a bachelor(ette)'s fridge.

So much so, that only xanax; a cup of Twinings decaf breakfast tea with demerara and almond milk; and the movie Amelie on Amazon Instant Video played on PS3 can turn it around. Only then. That and sweet oblivious sleep.

Seasonal Switch Red Alert

Autumn in Late July (7/26/13)

I'm very sensitive to weather changes and seasons. Living in the Chicago area, I get to see extremes in weather in a matter of hours. This can be tricky.

I first noticed that the summer season was beginning to change, or on its way out, starting in late July.

We were taking a family walk on July 26 when I noticed a nearby tree started dropping leaves left, right, and center. Prematurely. A hot, dry July and early August led to a lot of trees shedding leaves a little early.

I wasn't sure how to feel about it, so I decided to put it out of my mind.

Last week was the official switch over. This time, I couldn't really disregard it. Mother Nature was speaking loud and clear. We experienced 90F (a historical

Summer Contrasts (9/3/13)

heat record) on Monday and moved down to 63F on Friday. That's a huge change, yeah?

I start feeling a little detached and unmotivated around this time of year. I don't really start getting more motivated or in a brighter mood until late spring. It's kind of a long stretch.

I'm going to continue taking lots of walks whenever I can. Even if it's just walking around the mall to do some window watching, whenever the weather doesn't cooperate. It sort of helps.

Quote: The Man in the Mirror

I had a little eureka moment earlier. It's been an impossibly hectic day so far. I just realized that I like to seek major change when in reality what I seek is inner peace. Like Michael Jackson said so eloquently: start with the man in the mirror.

Treats and Yummies

Lately, I've been indulging in a few of my favorite treats. It's both a good thing and bad.

It's a good thing because it lifts my mood, distracts me a little, and it feels really nice to indulge in a favorite dish or snack. It's a bad thing because if I have too many of these, they don't feel as special and they can add inches to the waistline!

So some of my favorite treats are:

• nocciolato or espessone at my local LavAzza Espression cafe
• an iced decaf caramel macchiato at Starbucks
• Swedish fish
• popcorn
• Limca
• handmade (square) marshmallows from Whole Foods
• homemade green tea latte w steamed milk
• Chinese food (especially chicken fried rice and wonton soup)
• Mexican food (especially guacamole and fried plantains)
• movies at the theater
• Perugina baci chocolates
• Twinings Nightly Calm tea w honey and lime
• rice pudding

I also enjoy taking long walks during my lunch hour and after work with Benny and with the significant other unit. It's a new favorite thing to do, and since I don't really exercise anymore, it's a great way to stay healthy. Right? hehe

Memorial Day Weekend Trip

We took a mini trip over the long weekend of Memorial Day. I had heard at church about a resort right next to an Illinois State Park, so we decided to spend a couple of nights there and bring Benny with us. It turned out to be quite relaxing!

Dunes at Illinois State Beach Park

Saturday I slept in until 11 am and I ended up exceeding my walking goal by quite a few percentage points when we took a long walk through one of the outlet malls in Gurnee/Kenosha. I also walked away with a new dress, skirt, top, and clutch bag out of the deal. Not bad at all! hehe

But what I really liked most of all was being able to be next to a natural preserve of flora and fauna, and some pretty amazing sandy dunes and views of Lake Michigan. It looked so lovely I couldn't help think of Florida's own lovely beaches.

Benny was a total prince and did not mess up the room at all. Though he was incredibly anxious whenever we left him there and so happy to see us whenever we came back to walk him.

a low horizon moon rise

The first night, when we sat down to a casual dinner in the hotel restaurant, I couldn't help but notice the lovely moon rise. The moon was huge and clear yellow. And watching it rise above Lake Michigan and illuminating a trail of yellow water as it went up on its way was just lovely.

We also took a tour of the Jelly Belly distribution center. I've loved Jelly Belly candy for quite some time (at least since 1999!), and was thrilled to take a faux tour with a trolly and getting the full story behind the product and the company. It reminded me so much of those "behind the scenes" shows I used to watch religiously on the Food Network! Such as Unwrapped.

I was also very happy when I got a free baggie of Jelly Belly beans after the tour. We perused the shop and I got a Harry Potter chocolate frog, Bertie Bott's Gross Beans (I skipped the gross ones), and a box of 14 flavors of Jelly Belly beans.

The Jelly Belly Factory Tour

It was a great weekend and we even got to go to downtown Chicago on Sunday night to one of our new favorite restaurants, Howells and Hood in the Tribune Tower. They have amazing food, a spectacular list of booze for those who indulge, and great sports up on the screens. Highly recommended if you haven't been there.

That's what we did on Memorial Day weekend. It was good to get away a little bit, with our furry buddy Benny :)