9.22.2014

Dreaming of a Better Past

So Saturday night into Sunday morning I had a dream that I was in my old rental house from my teens, in Downers Grove, and it was completely revamped, updated and extremely comfortable.

We were all very happy and couldn't get over the surprise. It was an odd, creepy dream.

I've sometimes dreamt about being in that home before, but never when it was renovated to today's standards. Being happy in that home seems like an oxymoron, it was a difficult time in my life.
my old Downers Grove rental home

I've been noticing a trend in myself that I sometimes try to "turn back time" (to quote Cher, ha!) both in dreams and in real life. Going back and making things better for my younger self.

The odd thing is, that old self of mine doesn't exist anymore, and why would I want to change her anyway, if my past is the foundation on which I build my today and my tomorrow.

Oddly enough, as I am still a little troubled by this new discovery, I started thinking about a scene in Star Trek: The Final Frontier, where McCoy, Spock and Kirk face the truth that letting the past be is the best choice.

Yes, I need my old pain to make me appreciate the joyful times today and tomorrow. But I'm not going to dwell on it. I'm ok with moving forward.